Real Toons Kim Possible
by donki-shouben
Summary: When Batman visits Middleton, the tragedy of ‘the real world’ isn’t far behind! But who will pay the ultimate price? Chapter 3 of the Real Toons saga!


In _Real Toons_, we take the cartoon characters you see on your TV screen and imagine…

What if they learned they weren't real? How would they act on this knowledge? What would it do to them?

That is...What if Toons got real?

_Real Toons_ is a mega-cartoon crossover, and as such each chapter will appear in the cartoon area of whichever character is narrating.

_The Real Toons Story So Far_

The tooniverse is in chaos! The perfect worlds of toons are being roiled by widespread mayhem and destruction as reality breaches open up all over the tooniverse. Batman seeks to stop the problem at the source (the real world) and gathers a team to aid him - Duke the soldier; Snake Eyes the ninja; Dustin the former Power Ranger, Stellar the solar-powered Winx girl; Danny the ghost boy; and Joe Kerr, a reformed, sane Joker.

There's just two things you should know -

1) Batman isn't the only one with a plan to 'fix' the reality breaches. And

2) Due to all the tragedy his team has suffered, Batman and the others are a bit…off.

(You can see what happened to change Danny, a happy-go-lucky ghost boy, into a depressed, suicidal 'real ghost' in his story).

In Chapter 1 (Real Toons W.I.T.C.H.), Batman & Co. acquired 2 new recruits from W.I.T.C.H. - one willing participant (Cornelia, the earth elemental) and one hesitant (Will, the magical energy wielder) - after a reality breach struck their world, leaving death and destruction in its wake.

In Chapter 2 (Real Toons Teen Titans), Batman failed to persuade (a totally freaked) Robin of the Teen Titans to join his team.

Meanwhile, Batman's adversary, the Duck, is preparing to send someone (or someones) to destroy the Bat and his group.

Now Batman is searching for the next crucial member he needs to complete his crew - an excellent, hand-to-hand fighter who always has things go his (or her) way.

That search brought him to Mary-Kate and Ashley's cartoon world (don't blame me - it was Dustin's idea) in an abortive attempt to gain allies in 'the real world'.

And now that same search brings Batman to Kim's world. He doesn't intend to fail in his quest this time.

Enough recap - on with Kim's story! (Read the whole story - Batman comes in at the middle and the ending's totally worth it!)

Real Toons Chapter 3

Kim Possible's Story

by Shawn Q. Evans

guest-starring Batman

Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.

Batman copyright DC Comics

_Respectfully dedicated to all the toons out there, not just for what they are, but for what they could be._

I'm Kim Possible. Supposedly, the 'girl who can do anything'.

Right now, I wish that was true.

"Yaa! Hee-yaa!"

If I could just catch my breath.

Fighting a master of savate (French kickboxing) takes a lot out of you!

"Unhfff!"

Uh oh! She almost nailed me that time! If I'm not careful, this 'Legbreaker' woman will live up to her name!

How the heck did I get here, anyway?

The day started so promising.

The mayor had declared it 'Kim Possible Day' in Middleton.

I felt like ditching, but Ron insisted I go to the event.

"You deserve it, KP! And at least they're doing it right, with a public ceremony at Middleton's Central Park. Not like when they had a Ron Stoppable Day. At the library. At the same time & place where they usually hold Story Time. Brrr. Nothing worse than a little kid calling you a 'Barney killer'. It scars the soul!"

"But, Ron, it was your idea to have a Ron Stoppable Day in the first place!"

"That's not the point, Kim! You should go!"

"I'd rather bail! I mean, I'm no one special!"

"Modesty doesn't walk the dog, KP!"

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know. It must mean something."

Then the strangest thing happened. All the TVs in the electronics store we passed were taken over by some performance art freak!

"Greetings, citizens of Middleton! I am Arthur P. Forma, but you can call me Performance Art! And I'll prove Kim Possible is no one special today at 4PM!"

_Click_

"That's the time of the ceremony! Now you have to go, Kim! He's calling you out!"

"Oh, for the...!"

So, yes, I went.

But I never expected what I saw!

People dressed like me!

There must have been hundreds of them!

It's like they came out of nowhere, all at once!

Swarming the park!

"Ron! Where'd you go?"

"Kim! Over here!"

"Hey, Kim! Wait. You're not Kim!"

I couldn't find Ron. I couldn't even reach the stage, and the mayor was presenting the plaque to someone else!

Okay, I know I said I didn't care. But this is ridiculous!

Then the crowd parted, and Performance Art stepped forward. Wearing the tackiest clothes, too. Like a shirt with huge lips on it. I guess he thinks he's artsy fartsy or something.

"Greetings, Miss Possible! Ready for the show?"

"What are you talking about?"

"LegBreaker! Centerstage, please!"

"Who?"

Then she was there. The French kickboxer.

"I'd tell you to 'break a leg' - but that phrase is only for good luck. Goodbye, Miss Possible!"

"Huh?"

Then she attacked!

"Enjoy the show, people! Hee hee! 'She's got legs, and she knows how to use them.' Ha!"

His singing was bad enough! But her kickfighting! Whoa! It was all I could do to counter her! She was that good!

And then I figured out what he meant.

He was going to have Legbreaker defeat me - in front of everyone, on my 'special day' - and they all thought it was a show!

They had no idea how serious this was!

And that's how I got here.

"Whoof!"

Ow! And that was only a glancing blow! Head in the game, Kim! Got to end this!

"Hey, what's going on?"

Oh no. Ron!

"Hey, dude, give 'em space! You're gonna ruin the show!"

"Show? What?"

I was about to tell him, but...

Ron bent down to pick something up...

"Hey, this shouldn't be here. They could trip on this!"

...and a spin kick sent LegBreaker sprawling right over Ron's back!

Good 'ol Ron!

We really are an amazing team!

"Don't let her get away, Ron!"

"Wha? Okay, KP! On it!"

I couldn't let Performance Art get away. Not before I gave him my 'review', that is!

I fired my hair dryer grappling gun and sailed through the air towards him.

He saw me coming and did something on his cell phone.

I jumped down onto the sidewalk and was thisclose to catching him when a bunch of people, tens, scores, whatever, a LOT, suddenly jammed the sidewalk!

I couldn't reach him! All I could hear him say was "Ha! Flashmob! Later!"

People were all over! Yammering.

"Who called this flashmob?"

"I don't know! But isn't it cool?"

"Oh yeah!"

Milling about. Preventing me from...

"Please move! I have to get through!"

"Hey! Watch it! The nerve! No flashmob etiquette at all!"

...catching him. He was gone!

But at least Ron got LegBreaker!

"Uh, KP?"

Oh no. Ron was the one tied up!

"I had her tied up! Really! But she did this thing with her legs - she must have been ambidextrous - oh, wait, that's hands, isn't it? Anyway, her feet slipped out like, behind her body and the next thing I knew, well, uh, you see."

Great. She must have been double-jointed! Wonderful. The day could not get worse!

"Hey, Kim!"

Bonnie. Joy. Why do I even do this to myself?

"What is it, Bonnie? Come to gloat?"

"What? No, no of course not! You've got me all wrong, Kim! I, I suppose I should level with you. I've been seeing a therapist and, ah, it wasn't my idea, it was my mom's, because of Lonnie & Connie, and, well, she said it would help if I publicly apologized to those I've hurt. That's why the camera crew is here, so it's on record."

"Um, yeah. I was kind of wondering about them."

"It's all part of the therapy. So, uh, I, Bonnie Rockwaller, would just like to say, publicly, I'm sorry for every bad thing I ever did to Kim Possible and will strive to never offend again."

"Uh, okay."

"No, Kim, you have to say it like this. Just repeat after me."

"Huh?"

"It's the way this works! It's the apology circle!

"O-kay!"

"Ready? I, Kim Possible,..."

"I, Kim Possible.."

"...do hereby publicly accept Bonnie Rockwaller's apology..."

"...do hereby publicly accept Bonnie Rockwaller's apology..."

"...and will strive to always..."

"...and will strive to (yawn) always..."

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"...do my doody."

"...do my doody."

"Ah ha ha ha! I can't believe you said it!"

What?

"You should see the look on your face! Did you get that? Tell me you got that!"

"Bonnie, what?"

"CBR, Kim! Caught being real! It's the latest show!"

"I'll give you a show!"

Grrrr

"And did you catch the acting? 'I, I've been seeing a therapist, because of Lonnie & Connie'! The quiver in my voice, the eyes tearing up! Oh, I'm good! Maybe we can make that Art guy's show, too! Later, K! It's been...real! Ha!"

He's got a show, too? Have to check that out.

"Tonight…"

Huh? Arty on a Jumbo screen on a blimp?

"...Kim Possible stars in my latest performance piece! Or all of Middleton will!"

Doesn't sound good.

"Uh, Kim? You have to see this!"

"What is it now, Ron? I don't know how much more I can take!"

"No, really, you have to see this! It's good!"

Ron pointed, and...

I couldn't believe it! LegBreaker was tied up and hanging off the side of a 20-story building!

"Wha? How?"

"That would be me."

"The Fearless Ferret?"

"No, Ron. That's not The Ferret. Or Mr. North."

"Very perceptive, Miss Possible. My name is B-"

"Batman. Yes. Why do I know that?"

"What, You're, you're not the Ferret?"

"That may be what I'm known as here, but no."

"Why _are_ you here? You obviously don't belong here."

"To help. Or, rather, to seek your help, so we can help others. Can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Sure. There's a place we go down here."

"Bueno Nacho?"

"Yes, Ron! Okay, Bueno Nacho it is! But what about LegBreaker? Won't she escape?"

"We can leave her for the police. She won't be going anywhere. If she does manage to free herself, it's a long way down!"

"Cool move! How come we don't hang more bad guys off of buildings, Kim?"

"Because it's ferociously wrong, Ron! Cut her down! We'll take her to the police ourself!"

"Awww!"

"Then we'll talk."

"Suit yourself."

This day just keeps getting better and better.

Later, at Bueno Nacho, we talked to this 'Batman' person. Or, rather, he and I talked. Ron stuffed his face.

"I'll put it bluntly, Miss Possible. Many worlds are in trouble, and I, along with others, are going to try to stop the problem at the source. But we need help. That's where you come in."

He went on explain about these 'reality breaches' and how they were endangering worlds. And how there was a 'real world' that controlled us! It sounded crazy! I didn't know what to think.

"According to this theory of yours, our lives are being orchestrated by others. So there's no free will? I can't accept that!"

"Regardless of what you believe, Miss Possible, the threat remains. The danger is still there. A danger to all of us."

Leave it to Ron to put it all in perspective.

"So you're saying, (chomp, slurp, munch) that another world controls us?"

"Yes."

"Sounds like (munch crunch slurp) this theory I had, that our entire world exists on a chicken salad sandwich! Behold! The pollo salad universe!"

"Yes, well, it's a little more complicated than that."

It's not complicated for Rufus. He attacked that sandwich like there's no tomorrow.

"Rufus! Hey! There could be countless worlds in there!"

"Ba-urp! Sowwy."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Batman, but I don't see how we could help you, even if what you're saying is true."

"You're uniquely suited to help our cause since you're a very special person, Miss Possible. All of this, all you see around you, is here because of you. This world exists to serve you."

"What? Oh, now I've heard everything!"

"Yeah! You'd think a world built just for us wouldn't make me serve detention!"

"So you won't help us?"

"It's not that I don't want to help. But I have so much to do here. I can't just pick up and leave when what you're offering seems so…"

"Crazy?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's unfortunate, Kim. Many worlds are suffering and in need. But if that's your decision, I respect that. I..."

_Dootdoot doodoo_

"That's my Kimmunicator. Excuse me."

"What's the sitch, Wade? Uh huh. Okay."

"Who was that?"

"Wade, a ten year-old supergenius who helps us. He tracked down Performance Art."

"Hmmm. A ten year-old genius. A _very_ intelligent rodent. None of this strikes you as odd?"

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. May I accompany you? I don't have anything to do until my associates return to pick me up."

"Well..."

"Oh please please Kim! It would be so cool to fight alongside Batman!"

"Ron, could I speak with you? Alone?"

"What's up, KP?"

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, Ron, to let him tag along with us."

"Why?"

"It's, it's a bad feeling he gives off. He makes me all skincrawly."

"Kim, he's the dark avenger of the night! He's _supposed_ to be skincrawly!"

"I, I guess so. Okay."

Then, turning to Batman, I said

"You're in. But follow my lead. You're not familiar with our world yet and I don't want any more laundryline villains!"

"As you wish."

I didn't tell Ron the real reason for my dread.

It's not only that this 'Batman' is mega creepy.

And I don't mean just him personally. But if what he said was true (how did I know he was Batman? Where did that come from?), the universe was a far scarier place than I thought.

My own world was hard enough.

Now there's supposedly tons more places way worse?

And having him around is a reminder of that. Of what could happen to our world. It chilled me. But he's still a good guy. I shouldn't hold that against him.

It wasn't that hard to find Performance Art's lair. Which means he wanted us to find it. Which spells a trap.

But we were so intent on sneaking around his building looking for a safe way inside that we failed to notice the trap was actually _outside_.

Sheer drops opened up below each of us.

The last thing I saw before dropping below ground was a sign that popped up that said 'GOING DOWN?'

Ha ha. What a comedian.

Since we each fell down different holes, we were separated.

I rolled to a stop. Not too painful, luckily.

I had to hope Ron and Batman were okay as my eyes adjusted to the murky underground light.

Then there was a great noise, as some machinery started up.

I made my way to it. There was a metal gate, and more tacky decor with those big lips on the walls and...

Oh no! Ron was strapped to a chair and huge blocks of stone were flying in a circle over his head!

"Greeting, Miss Possible! So glad you could make it!"

"Kim! It's a trap!"

Well, duh, Ron. Not that that could stop me.

"How do you like my latest creation? I call it 'Deconstructing the Buffoon'!"

"Let him go, or..!"

"You'll get your chance! A little music first, though."

_Do do do do Dodo Dodo_

Ah! The boulders were rising and falling in time with the classical music...and just barely missed Ron!

"Stop it!"

"If you can solve the puzzle..."

And with that, the gate rose and a screen dropped with a puzzle on it.

Ron and the flying/falling rocks were behind another gate, across a wide chasm. How, what to do?

"Time's running out!"

Yelled 'Arty'!

And then one of the huge stones crashed to the floor next to Ron!

"Solve it. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

It was Batman. He was trapped behind another gate! It looked like he was using a laser or acid or something to cut it, but to no avail.

I ran to the puzzle, and tried to work it, but it seemed hopeless!

And when I glanced over at Ron, I would see another 16-ton weight thunder into the floor!

Time was running out!

"What a show, ladies and gentleman! Can she do it?"

Wonderful. He's broadcasting this!

And then I noticed something. The boulders, they, something's wrong.

I abandoned the puzzle, shot my grapple at the gate, and pulled. Hard!

Nothing. This is it. Ron's a goner.

But according to Batman, that can't be.

There has to be a way!

Then I felt a tug on the line!

Batman had reached through the gate and grabbed it!

Together, we pulled the gate in front of me down!

Then I bounded into space, flipped, and landed on the one of the flying boulders!

That damn music!

_Do do do do _

Ron was about to be crushed!

I hopped off the boulder and swung it straight at the one with Ron's name on it!

_Dodo _

It worked! I knocked it out of the way!

_Dodo_

It crashed to the floor with a loud thud!

I jumped and landed next to Ron.

Rufus had gotten out but was unable to free Ron. I wasn't having any better luck.

And the flying boulders continued to rise and fall.

_Do do do do _

I thought I had it figured out.

But if I was wrong...Or if our world suffers one of those 'reality breaches'...I could die doing this.

Out of time.

_Dodo _

Out of luck?

I covered Ron with my body to protect him, as the boulder fell.

_Dodo_

The 'boulder' broke over us. It was paper mache.

I thought as much when I noticed some of the boulders seemed to bounce when they fell, so I timed them.

They did make a loud noise, but I figured that could have been sound effects. I was right!

I finally freed Ron. Just in time, too, as one of the real boulders fell on the spot we had occupied a moment before, crushing it.

"Curses! She did it!"

"Not so fast!"

"Bah! What's good for the goose..."

"That old chestnut? Not very artistic, Arty!"

"Unh!"

Damn. Too concerned with my quips! He used my trick against me! Nailed me with a boulder he sent sailing into me!

"And what goes up must return! Or come down...never mind!"

"Huh? Whoof!"

"Okay, that didn't have anything to do with it, but it was all I could think of!"

It was Ron! He rode the boulder as it returned to Performance Art! Way to go, Ron!

"I'll take your misquotes and malaprops anyday! Good work, Ron!"

"Malaprops? I'm not a doctor!"

"Never mind. Now let's see who's under this mask...Dr. Drakken!"

"You, you knew?"

"You had me going there for a bit, but once I figured out it was you..."

"How?"

"Well, there was the whole 'buffoon' thing!"

"And the egomania!"

"Yeah! Who else would want to ruin Kim's special day?"

"Not to mention you signed the whole thing!"

"What, what are you talking about?"

"Oh please! Those big lips! Not photo lips but _drawn lips_! Drawn, drew, Drew Lipsky!"

"Oh. Heh. How about that?"

"What's with the big act, anyway?"

"Thought I could change my luck."

"And the paper mache boulders?"

"My budget ran low."

"That LegBreaker woman? Was that Shego in disguise?"

"No. Hired help. That's where most of my budget went!"

"I see you've taken care of it. Good job."

Batman. He finally managed to free himself.

"Of course! I am 'the girl who can do anything'!"

I said, as I smiled and flipped my hair.

Okay, okay, it's a little braggy. But I deserved it!

But then I saw something that creeped me out more than anything else today!

Batman smiled!

"Ah! Scary bat! Keep him away from me!"

"Calm down!"

Jeez. He even freaks Drakken out! But then, he's supposed to. 'Dark avenger of the night', and all that, right?

I hurriedly changed the subject.

"Let's see if Wade managed to shut the broadcast down and call the police, okay?"

"Wade? Wade, are you there?"

No answer. Okay, now I'm worried!

"Let's go!"

We ran out of there so fast!

Made it to Wade's house in record time! It looked okay. Same as usual.

But once we got in, we could see someone was there! Hiding in the shadows!

"Stop!"

He ran like the dickens up the stairs! But neither me or Ron were about to let him get away!

He ran into an empty bedroom! We surrounded him, but the masked strango fought like no one we've ever seen!

And then he jumped out the window!

Was he crazy?

But he didn't fall! He rose up, above the window! Did he have a jetpack? But his outfit was skintight! How could he get a jetpack under it? Unless...he was flying?

Before I could do anything, _he_ acted! Batman! He had stayed outside to cover the exits.

"Got him!"

He lassoed dark & weird with a bat-rope thingie. Well, it was rope with a bat on the end, anyway.

Bats pulled him down to the ground.

I jumped down, and was about to unmask the stalker, but then...

Vanished!

The only thing left was...animal fur?

I didn't understand. What does this mean?

I thought I heard the stranger say something before he disappeared, but I couldn't make it out.

Batman later told me this one guy, this 'duck', was sending assassins to eliminate anyone who posed a threat to his plans for universal domination. And how these creatures had strange powers. Like Mego & Hego, but way worse.

But back then, all I could think of was why? And...

"No!"

...Wade! What happened to Wade? Why did Ron, what could make him scream like that?

I must have broke all kinds of records getting up to Wade's room!

But what I saw...

I've never seen anything like it! I hope never to see it again.

It was the most horrible thing.

And all the while, Ron serially vomited.

"Shouldn't have had that quesadilla. Shouldn't have had that chili dog. Shouldn't have had that naco…mmm, actually, that's not so bad the second time around! Makes you wonder how bulemics lose weight, huh, Rufus?"

It, it was unreal! How could this be happening?

And all that blood. So much! I've never...Urp! I think I'm about to follow Ron!

Got to hold it together. Got to...!

And then he was there. Batman. Wrapping his arms around me.

"There there. I'm so sorry."

The creepy voice was gone. It was...so comforting. I never thought he could be like this.

"Did, did something like this happen to you?"

"It was my parents."

"Oh! This happens a lot where you come from?"

"Yes. Unfortunately. And oftentimes, it's much worse."

"Oh my God."

And here I was worried about leaving my oh so perfect world, with its petty problems, to travel with a stranger!

If this kind of thing is happening to other worlds, then there's no question what we have to do.

"We have to go, Ron. We have to stop this from happening to anyone else!"

Ron, of course, agreed.

But...did Batman smile again?

No. Nothing there. Must have been a trick of the light.

I know what I have to do now.

I'm Kim Possible. Supposedly, the 'girl who can do anything'.

Right now, I'd give anything to make that true.

Epilogue

Batman in his personal quarters aboard the transdimensional Reality Flyer

"Playback recording 2201.1"

"Spord lartsa"

"Save as codename Apple Bran and implement highest level of security."

"Playback recording 2201.2"

"Astral drop"

"Save as…"

_OmiGosh! What's going on? Did Batman..?_

_But how did..?_

_I mean, he was with them, so how? Why?_

_Holy cliffhanger!_

_Next:_

_Batman takes the crew to another Universe to search for a Master and the last recruit _

_- the super-strong He-Man!_

_Needless to say, things are not as you might think, _

_what with all the reality breaches and death & destruction roiling the Tooniverse._

_What happens? _

_You He-Man fans probably won't like it. _

_You other fans - heck, yes! It's fun._

_And the Duck unveils his mad scheme!_

_The future looks very tough, indeed!_

_It's gonna get way worse before it gets better!_

_(And that's not even counting what happens when Kim & Ron get real in the chapter after that!_

_You cannot miss it! You'll kick yourself if you do!)_

_And in the next Backstory - Stellar!_

_How did a silly, vapid fairy become the hardcore survivor, Stellar?_

_Find out in our humorous, tragic tale as Stella the Winx Club Fairy loses…_

_Everyone. And everything. Including her whole world. Literally._

Notes

Arthur P. Forma - The term pro forma comes from a Latin phrase meaning, "as a matter of form".

Doing something in a pro forma manner is to do it in a perfunctory way to satisfy the minimum requirements or to conform to a convention.

So Drakken is doing the villain thing in a perfunctory way. He's not a good actor (or a good villain). (By 'good villain', I mean bad, of course. Oh, you know what I mean!)

The bad singing is another clue Performance Art is Drakken, though that's more for the reader than Kim and Ron (they don't know about Drakken's karaoke).

Drakken used the blimp with the TV screen in _Kimitation Nation_.

A leg breaker is an enforcer for the mob. (If you don't pay up, or do what they say, they send someone to break your legs. Simple, yet effective). I use her to indicate something has changed, and that the threat of injury is real.

'Pollo' is spanish for chicken. Bueno Nacho must have some on the menu, although it's not mentioned on the TV show.

What is 'spord lartsa'? 'Astral drops' spelled backwards. Astral drops are duplicates of people created by the Heart of Candracar (See Real Toons W.I.T.C.H. for more info).

Compares and contrasts Kim's world and 'the real world'. How they're different, similar. Couldn't have her fight one of her old villains, because that would emphasize the unreality of the situation. A new villain makes it more ambiguous - will she survive?

Kim and Ron can leave their world, and it won't suffer 'reality breakdown', because their world doesn't have any reality breaches. And it's only two characters, so it doesn't push their world past a tipping point.


End file.
